Sunday, August 16
I fainted yesterday when I woke up in the morning. A big "BOOM" between my head and the floor. Lucky that the floor is made up of mat instead of tiles otherwise my skull would have cracked by then lols. I can only hear and regain my sight when Mummy helped me to my bed. All these happened its bcox Hubby didn't gave me any good night/good bye kiss the night before lols. All along I receive kiss kiss from hubby every night yet I miss out the night before =( which results my faint lols I need energy kiss from hubby, even though it's all the way from Singapore lols.
I told hubby that yesterday and requested a "pay-back-kiss" lols. But hubby was so evil yesterday that he denied his fault and not return any of the kiss. Still, I have my own ways to get what belongs to me lols. I used my 武林秘诀, martial art tips lols,
See, I didnt faint this morning bcox I received my kiss last night lols.
The only word fer me is I
The sweetest word fer me is LOVE
The only one for me is YOU
Aust: 4:36 PM, 2 hurs ahead of Sg
Thursday, August 13
Went to the fertility clinic today. That's bcox I'm having my chemo next Monday and Chemo might shuts my left ovary which means I might not get pregnant again, 10-20% of the chances though. Despite of the small percentage, chemo nurses wants me to have a chat with the reproductive doctor.
Met Dr Alex. He said there are only 2 solution for me as I'm going to do my chemo next Monday, its not like I have few weeks to solve the problem.
1st - Having another operation again. Having a keyhole surgery through my belly button and take part of my left ovary out (since my right ovary and right tube have already been taken out) and frozen it. When my chemo is over, they would place the frozen ovary back. However, he said it is very experimental bcox it might or might not work.
2nd - Having a injection called Zoladex. What it does is that it shuts my left ovary down totally for the time being. It's just like mennopause and it stops my hormones completely. However, it only reduces half the chance of being not reproductive anymore. Morever the 1 injection costs AUD$315.70. I have to have it once every 4 weeks which means I will be spending 3 x 315.70 = AUD$947.10.
After much discussion with Dr Alex and Mummy, all of us acknowledge that the injection is a better option. So I had the injection immediately, right on the spot =..= I bought the Zoladex at the pharmacy and went back to Dr Alex. I had 2 injection on my abdomen, first was the anesthetic and the 2nd one is the Zoladex. I have to have the anesthetic bcox the injection for Zoladex is bloody huge with a spring in it which kinda scares me quite a bit. However, the side effects will be having night sweats and feeling hot, well, anyway I will be having those side effects too with my chemo, so it doesn't make any huge diff.
The only word fer me is I
The sweetest word fer me is LOVE
The only one for me is YOU
Aust: 9:30 PM, 2 hurs ahead of Sg
Wednesday, August 12
I hate to update post that is so lengthy full of words but I guess I've got no choice today bcox I have not been updating and clearly explain my situation. Those text in pink are hyperlinked to wikipedia.
Last Tuesday
I admitted to the hospital, The Royal Women's Hospital, for post operation. Didn't realised that there were so many preparation to be done before the operation. 1) Met my anesthetist who took good care of me before, during and after the operation and makes sure that I'm sleeping soundly when the doctors are cutting my abdomen. 2) My specialist doc, Dr Szabo came to my room and revealed the MRI report that I had Germ Cell Tumour. 3) Met the group of doctors who discussed and talked about my illness, my operation process and think of the best solution to my cancer. 4) Had to shave my hair below to get ready for the operation. 5) Had a chemical injection through my asshole so that my intestine was free from anything for my operation. The chemical made me keep going to the bathroom. 6) Had an injection into my fats to prevent any blood clogs during my stay in hospital. 7) Had another blood test again and its the 3rd time already since 4 weeks ago.
Last Wednesday
It's my operation day and I was the very first person to be operated. I still remembered that the nurse woke me up at 5.30am to have my blood pressure and everything done and I was so shocked bcox it was bloody early but the nurse said that they would be doing this to every patient every morning at that hour. After being woken up by the nurse, I couldn't go back to sleep anymore bcox I was so stressed out by the operation I'm going to have later on. So I took my shower and got dressed into Johnny shirt. I seems to take ages to have my shower done in hospital, by then when I'm done with everything including blow drying my hair, it was ard 7 am. I started to panic that my mind went totally blank. For each person that walked passed my room, my heart pound even faster bcox I would though that the nurses are coming in to push me to the operation room. Until 7.30am, 2 of the nurse came and untied the wires that clung to my bed and push me with the bed to the operation room. First, I went to a room, still lying on the bed, I felt like I was waiting for death. Minutes like hours. After quite sometime, I was pushed to another room again and I met my 2 anesthetist. They were very nice, 1 of them was trying to inject a tube into my wrist and the another anesthetist knew that I was very anxious about it that he kept talking to me. Finally, I was pushed to another room that was the real operation room and over there I met Dr. Szabo. However, I felt very dizzy immediately upon the first anesthetic and I went to deep sleep after the 2nd or 3rd anesthetic, I can't really remember. All I knew was that they put the oxygen mask around my head. The next moment I woke up, I was still in the operation room but I was in tremendous pain that I kept shaking my head. They told me to bear with the pain and try to sleep, but I was incapable of doing it, it's far too painful. I tried to open my eyes but I can't, all I can do was to hear. Whereas for my lips, it became bloody dry and I was having a bad sore throat bcox of the oxygen mask but I couldn't drink any water at all so mummy keep dipping my lips with water all the time. Basically, I was sleeping for the rest of the day.
Last Thursday
I can hardly move. I was lying on the bed throughout the day with the tubes around me. 1 of the tube was for the grape sugar and the another one was morphine. Basically, I didn't have to eat anything with the grape sugar being injected into my body 24/7 and the morphine relives my pain whenever I press a button. Oh ya, at the same time, I had my catheterization so that I didn't had to get off my bed for bathroom. I felt so like a going-to-die person. At night, I finally got out of my bed! However, I had a hard time doing it and the pain on my operation area was so enormous that I started to feel dizzy and getting hot when mummy said that my forehead was cold. Thus I told mummy to call the nurse and they came with another injection that prevent me from dizzying and makes me go to sleep too.
Last Friday
YAY! they've removed all the tubes around me and the urine bag and I started to eat something solid. I felt like a real person now. But I was still having difficulties taking a shower that was y 1 of the nurse and mummy came to help me with the showering lols. So pai seh.
Last Saturday
I'm back home finally!!!!!! So glad that I'm back home even though I had a hard time walking.
Tuesday
I thought that I'm having my chemotherapy today but I wasn't. Today was just a session to get everything organised before my chemo and explained all the things about chemo including the period and the side effects. I will be having 4 cycles of chemo with 3 weeks each. For day 1 to day 5 of each cycle, I would need to go to the hospital for 6 hurs of chemo and the rest of the 2 weeks and 2 days would be just staying at home and rest. I will be having 3 injections: bleomycin, etoposide and cisplatin. I will be having etoposide and cisplatin for day 1 to 5 and for bleomycin, I will be having it for every day 1 only. Some of the side effects are lungs, ovary and some of my organs therefore I had my CT scan today, meeting my fertility doctor on Thursday and lung scan test on Friday. The CT scan was bloody painful lah when I had my injection, I can sense the liquid flowing into my blood vessels on my arm and into my body, it was burning inside my arms basically =( Oh ya, I also had my another blood test again =( and this is the 4th time since last month.
CT scan
Food I had in the hospital
Fruit yoghurt, mandarin and apple juice
Mushroom soup
Spagehtti and mash potatoes
Wholemeal bread
Cream of chicken soup
Beef and mash potatoes
Shaverm from 3M
p.s. so now u can understand how bored I am when I was hospitalised
The only word fer me is I
The sweetest word fer me is LOVE
The only one for me is YOU
Aust: 8:27 PM, 2 hurs ahead of Sg
Saturday, August 8
I am bored to death now!!!!!!!!
I'm back home finally~, after having 4 days in the hospital. I feel so terrible now. I can't really move now much and all I can only do is to eat, sleep, use com, sit on the chair with the pillow behind walk around the house slowly and noth else. I really feel so sick about it, feels like the whole body is going to rot. Especially you can't even eat any food you likes. I'm only able to eat congee with soft pumpkins and only 2 piece of plain biscuits and noth else. I feel so sick man, there are so many food in the cupboard temping me lols but I have to control control and control.
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The only word fer me is I
The sweetest word fer me is LOVE
The only one for me is YOU
Aust: 6:17 PM, 2 hurs ahead of Sg
Monday, August 3
I just came back from the hospital, again. I had a radiology in the morning, it's damn noisy man when it's scanning my body. Interestingly was that the noise follows the tempo of my breath lols. It produces a helicopter-like sound when I breath out throughout the process. The noise was tremendously noisy but they provides headphone for me so that I can listen to music lols. They had a whole list of singers for me to choose from but I chose to listen to radio instead. The whole thing took me around an hur but I felt as though its just half an hur.
I had an injection again but this injection is different from the rest. The injection allows the scan to look clearly into my whole body. Below is the photos I got from websites.
The only word fer me is I
The sweetest word fer me is LOVE
The only one for me is YOU
Aust: 3:45 PM, 2 hurs ahead of Sg
Saturday, August 1
Since most of the ppl knows about my situation, there's no point for me to hide any further. I would really like to take this chance to inform everyone, regardless of u're a men/women, it's really important for you guys to really understand and go for check ups regularly. I do understand that every one will have the mentally of "Ai ya,such thing would not happen to me" and "I don't feel anything wrong with me, I'm still alive and kicking".
Last week, when I was lying down on my bed, going to sleep, I realised that there's something hardening inside my abdomen. At that time, I didn't think of anything that would cause that, but it just kinda concern me. After all, its unusual. Few days ago, on Monday, I dunno what spur me, I told Mummy about it and mother suggested me to visit the hospital again the next day.
(I went to the hospital few weeks ago bcox I was having abnormal bleeding and the pain on my abdomen was massive but the doc thought that it was just normal infection and gave me some anti-biotic)
On Tuesday, when mummy and I went to the hospital, the doc said that my abdomen was kinda big and had a portable scan thingy to scan my abdomen. The result came out, saying that there's a lot of fluid, ard 8ml inside. Hence she suspected that it's from my bladder, and that the fluid is all urine. But she also asked me whether did I have any problems with urination, which I didn't. End up, I still had my bladder catheterization. It was my very first time ever, it feels uncomfortable when they slot something inside my virgina but it felt worst when they took it out, its painful. While waiting for the urine, I didn't feel sense of urinating at all, just that I felt so tired lying on the bed, not being able to get up. After 2 hours, the urine bag doesn't show any symptoms of that amt of 8ml and my abdomen was still protuding out. As a result, I had to go back again for ultrasound the next day but I requested on Thursday bcox I'm having sch on wednesday.
On Thursday, after my ultrasound, they cfm that there's a cyst inside my abdomen. In addition, they suspect that its a borderline cystadenoma. However, this is the thing, they couldn't be sure whether was it a positive or a negative one. After all, its just an ultrasound, they could only be sure of everything after removing my cyst and look at it under a microscope. Then I'm supposed to go back again on next Tuesday for radiology which is another scan that is a more precise.
Nevertheless, on Friday, I received a call from a doc, Dr Szabo, saying that she wanna see me now bcox there's something abnormal in my blood test. When I reached there, with mummy and bro, she told us that one of the result came out very unusual, most likely I got an cancer. A usual person should have it near 0 but I got 420,000. However, they still have to prove it under the microscope thus I have to have my operation done asap and they have arranged it for me next Wednesday. From now onwards, I have to go to the hospital regularly and I no longer afford attending any sch anymore.
Next Monday: Radiology
Next Tuesday: Admission to hospital
Next Wednesday: Operation
Conclusion: I do hope that everyone who is reading this will take this story as a lesson and do go for regular check ups. At the same time, go to any hospital straight away if you realise there's something hardening inside ur body, especially women. Girls who feel that their breast is hardening have to go to check up immediately bcox most likely it is a cancer.
ps. thanks to those are so supportive during this crucial period esp hubby, his family members and my family, even though some of u are so far away from me...
The only word fer me is I
The sweetest word fer me is LOVE
The only one for me is YOU
Aust: 3:39 PM, 2 hurs ahead of Sg
